THOUGHTS ABOUT FRIENDSHIP
What is friendship really? how do you define it? is it love, compassion, company, fun, all of the above? how does it develop? where does it start? why does it start? what factors make people friends and what keeps them as acquaintances? is it all about chemistry? of course common interests, values but not necessarily goals play an important part. Why is it easier -many times- to deal with friends that with family? Is it blood? familiarity? "rights"? If your sibling is your friend as well, how is that different from a non-blood friend?
Well, I am sure that everyone has different ideas about the questions above. Once I heard that there are friends for a reason, friends for a season and friends for a lifetime....and that made sense. I have had them all...the friends for a lifetime still my friends, and some are really from a life time, some we met when we were 3.
So, going back to what starts a friendship....when a new "romantic" relationship starts, the usual motivator or hook is physical attraction, mmmhh, he is cute/she's gorgeous and the list goes on. But, what about friendships?, what is the initial attraction? what keeps us motivated to nurture and grow our friends?
When I was about 9 I read in a bood a quote that says "a friend, is our chosen brother", that really stuck to my head since then. I know why I keep my friends: because I love them, I respect them, I admire them, because I get a lot of them, different from each one and because I am able to give some of myself to them. Because in hard times you really know who is there for you, with their help, love and support and you give that in return tenfold when it's their time of need. Because there is nothing better than share the good times with them, but what starts, ignites a friendship? how does it work, maybe that is one of the few cases when incoditional love exists? What do you think? I really want to know what you think....so.....
posted by Caro at 1:00 p.m.
3 Comments:
Caballo is getting philosophical again...mmmmmm.....good question, though. I guess friendship starts simply as a chemical reaction to someone else, then you get to talk, then you get to find things in common, then you get to do things together, then you start creating history. However......it takes a lot of work, a lot of effort and a lot of time. Guess a friend is never a brother because people tend to repress their impulses with friends whereas with a family member you don't have to be politically correct and you can speak your mind, at least for a while and in both cases. People have friends because we all need to be completed somehow by someone else and because it's really nice to have someone to go to the movies with. However, if you're a nerd, then your computer is your best friend....like when I moved to Arizona, my best friend was the anchorwoman who presented the 5pm news. Patti, tell me about the weather. And she'd inmediately say..coming up, the weather....elgatitolindo
11:02 p.m.
What is friendship and where does it come from? This is one of those questions that could take a lifetime to answer. One should think, if we did not have friends or friendly family ties then, what’s the point in life? It would surly be a lonely, cold and unfriendly world out there... doom and gloom. I believe friendships are formed because we need to be connected to people outside of ourselves. This connection helps us to give purpose and meaning to our own life. It is complicated how family fits into this “friendship” equation and that should be left for a different discussion – “Family Dynamics”. What makes a family? I agree with “elgatitolindo” There is definitely chemistry involved. I believe we all have our own unique chemistry, and its purpose is not necessarily sexual in nature. It is what makes us “tick” as individuals. It is what defines us. I always wondered why certain people you can joke with, others you can only have serious conversations and others there is an attraction that makes you nervous and your hands sweat... This is all chemistry... different kinds of mixes result in different kinds of outcomes. The beginning is the initial bond or connection we make. Some bonds are more meaningful than others and these are the ones that potentially last for longer periods of time. I also believe friendship requires commitment and work, like marriage or some kind of partnership. I’m sure you all have learned that “you can fall out of love”. Well, the same goes for friendship. Believe me, I have seen it happen in both cases. Friendship requires a lot of tools in order to be maintained... tools such as trust, honesty, integrity, loyalty, love, etc... I think you get the picture. These tools need to be applied within yourself first and then toward your “friend”. Ok, I think I have said enough for now. I can keep going on and on but I don’t want to put anyone to sleep... again!! hahaha! The next question for thought is, when does a “friend” become more than a friend? When do you cross into that threshold of “a friendship on fire”?? >DK
12:13 p.m.
I find friends and tend to initially relate to them about some small thing. For instance, my friend J.J. needed help with calculus homework and I was good at math, so she came to me after class one day to ask for help. She was new and didn't really know many other students yet. Lucky for the both of us we had great fun over math homework. We then became roommates in university and have remained friends to this day, she was even at my wedding because I flew her down to Texas from Alberta -- it would not be a true celebration without my best friend there! I find her to be my spiritual guide, since she is the truest christian I've ever met, that's inspiring to me. Not to mention, we share a sense of humor, trust eachother with secrets, and I believe will always stay in touch. prima heather
7:41 a.m.
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