20th YEARS !!!!

Immigrating was not something that I planned, it just happened, effortlesly. Sometimes I wonder why I ended up here. Sometimes, when I see 19 year old girls i think...they are SO young...maybe my parents didn't love me...why did they let me go? I am grateful to them, it took a lot of guts and trust in God and in me to let me fly like that, if i had a kid I don't know that I would be that strong.

End of August 1986. I was sick for a couple of months that summer. At the airport with my mom, my sisters and my best friends, Edith, Cato, Gina, and (at that time) Adriana. I was about to embark in an adventure that would change my life forever.

That day, after that picture, I boarded a JAL flight that took me to Vancouver. I was to start school there. Foundation Year, to learn about art, painting, sculpture, creative processes and mainly Life. I left, all excited and with a determination and thirst for adventure that to this day surprises me. At the same time I was so sad to leave so many good things behind, but heck, it was an adventure. I arrived in Vancouver and it was HOOOOT!! Next day I go to school and it was WEIRD...everyone dressed in sandals, and holy t-shirts, and me....dressed like a good Anahuac Design girl, dress, high heels, HAHAAH. I was able to spik englich, no problem, not until 2 weeks later when I couldn't say anything except Yes, with the goofiest smile on my face. Went to my first party....oooh! welcome to the first year students...in the basement we are providing entertainment....great! a smorgasboard of drugs, mariguana, hash, and god know what else. I had a beer. (and still wearing pretty clothes and high heels and make up....LOL!). Living in the most horrendous place ever, with the most toxic people I have ever met. Missing my family so much, Missing my sisters and missing my country. Spend the weekends on the bus, knowing Vancouver inside out. Started making friends.

Right away I met Nicky. We became fast friends, we were roomates for a while, after graduation started our first business together. She graduated from Photography, then went on to do her master's in Religious Studies and now she is off to Montreal to do her PhD. She was my first friend here, and now she is leaving. OH! she'll be doctor Nicky, and we met 20 years ago when we both were trying to be artists!!

After toxic place i moved out and lived on my own for the next 6 years. It was a good time in my life and it was the worst time in my life as well. I became insecure in lots of ways, i became so strong in other ways. I became invisible and at the same time I shone. I grew up. I fell in love. I became my own person. I took things too seriously. I was alone and had no one to rescue me if i screwed up.

I broke my foot, my mom died, that semester I did terrible in school. I kept making friends, i kept learning, i started to feel part of my new city. I graduated, started a business. I got married, i missed Mexico and everything that it meant to me. I missed my family. I kept learning, and having fun. Dean and I travelled and enjoyed life. Bought our place, B&R move here and my life takes a turn for the best, started yet another business, get the canadian citizenship; learnt jewelery, painting, yoga; started teaching; missed my Mexico; vancouver becomes my home; more turns; more fun; become canadian; more work, travel and friends.

Now, 20 years later heading for a new beginning, starting all over again. God only know what's in store for me. It's been an amazing ride. 20 years!! it has gone so fast and so slow. Now this is my home. Mexico will always be my first home, my first love, my grounding path, my roots, my identity, my soul. I ended up here permanently because of love, very romantic, very true, and now it has become part of me. I belong here, I no longer feel invisible.

I arrived here by some fluke of life, to go to school. I remained here to be with my Dean, for love. And now I stay here by chioce


Oh, yeah! i'm thinking about that Serrat's song, don't know the name, but it includes "....al andar se hace camino, y al volver la vista atras, se ve la huella que nunca, se ha de volver a pisar, caminante, no hay camino, sino estelas en la mar..."

FAVOURITE TEACHER

I was a pretty good student, school was just easy for me. Never studied. though I know i was considred a Nerd, hahaha!

For me teachers are some of the most important people in one's development (besides family of course), but if you are lucky enough to have good teachers early on that teach you to love learning, it makes a difference. I had such luck. In Pre-primaria, Miss Cristy was that teacher, she made learning fun and challenging and she was a very loving woman, not mushy, just whole. Then, grade 1, Miss Paquita, WOW! to this day I really love her! I remember sitting in class, listening to her and the way she spoke about things made a mark in my tiny impressionable brain. So I was set, I think, at that point to learn quickly and to love it. Then came Miss Malena and Miss Mary, both amazing teachers in their own right. And then in Grade 4, 5, 6 the good teachers seized to exist except for my grade 5 english teacher, Miss Lupita, she was another one of those teachers that inspire. All through Secondary school, Maestro Negrete, I loved Math because of him. He had a gift to teach students, he was well liked and was very strict. Though, sometimes he was rude as hell. One time he punished my two friends Legos and Omar and they had to do all the equations of the Baldor, they did them ALL and then Negrete just threw the body of work in the garbage! what an ass, but Math we learnt! Then in High School, Lydia, the psych teacher, she was so young, but she taught me lots of things besides psych theories. And in college, the best one, Rick C, he made "design" fun, light and practical. So I guess those are some people that I will always remember with love and gratitude.

Whenever I see them, I always give them a hug and thank them.

L E A R N I N G

Yep, learning, sounds nerdy eh? That is a passion of mine, together with travelling. I wish I could retain 1/10 of the things i read and like, but I think I am definately having a torrid affair with that german guy, what's his name? Al Zehimer? Anyway, I would like to learn Japanese, archery and calculus (again). I find that dancing has helped established new thinking paths, now it is so much easier to remember dance routines and steps (though really, kind'a useless if the dancing partner is not a good lead). I have the famous BALDOR book that Catito brought me, I think that those times when I don't have much to do, I will be doing equations. Does that sound sssseeexxxxyyyy? hahaha. Archery? I found a group on Sundays, maybe I will check it out this fall. and Japanese, well, i just like how it sounds, I like how japananes men talk, like in the movies, so rude and threatening and the women kind of cackle. I'll try the male version and the female version, I think that will keep me amused.

When I teach I see it a form of learning. But the truth is that sometimes my students drive me bananas...they don't have the passion or even the interest to learn. They are ther to get a paper, to "pass". They put no effort, have no enthusiasm or even curiosity. That makes the teaching process somewhat like torture, but I am determined to change at least one person, at least a little bit. The group that is presently giving me such trouble is the must uninspired group I have ever had. There are a couple of people with some talent, one very passionate [who "hates" design ! - but is coming around, and actually works very hard!] and the rest are lazy, unmotivated, passionless, not at all curious, nervous, aggressive, confrontational, rude, and painfully mediocre. In contrast I have another group that is almost the exact opposite. I enjoy so much those sessions. But with the bad group, I enjoy the challenge and I enjoy that even if they don't get excited about target groups, budgets, deadlines, strong concepts, excellent typography, clear messages and modular grids, I do and somehow, perhaps out of desperation, still manage to get excited about such things.

Anyway, maybe I'll learn how to cook. I think I have made myself allergic to vegetables, that's kind of all I ate lately. Well , good night all.

Gay Pride Parade

During the long weekend the first week of August is the Vancouver Gay Pride Parade. This year there was an estimated attendance of 180,000 souls. I love going to this parade for many reasons.
First it's the only parade in Vancouver where this many people go. There is a Remembrance Day parade to which I've never gone, and a new Christmas parade that happens sometime in November when it's cold, rainy and miserable and all the "Surrey" people show up. And it isn't that good anyway.
Second, I like that it is a family affair. There are kids, couples, singles, groups of friends, old people, etc.
Third, some of the floats and customs are very creative and fun; though must of the floats are very basic and you can tell not much money went into the and I find that cute.
It's hot, and eventhough the sun was very, very hot, it's nice to be out on the streets, dancing, singing, clapping, laughing and trying to collect the endless amounts of give away junk.

There are dozens of organiztions that participate, from govenrment bodies to banks, clubs, bars, gyms, public services like Firemen, First Aid, teachers, parents, native groups, churches of all denominations and all sorts of organizations and associations.

That is something I love about this city, something that makes me proud. I like to live in a city where there is acceptance for people of all walks of life, it's a city of Intersections. It always moves me when the Associations of Parents and Grandparents of Gay and Lesbians walk down with their children (yound and old) ; when different churches are open about ending prejudice about homosexuality; when the bankers, or Starbucks employees, or teachers or firemen, old and young, canadians/mexicans/brasilians/koreans/indians/or any ethnic gorup you can think of, can walk proudly without having to mask who they are. Some people say: but so what, if they are gay/lesbian who cares....in a way that is true. Personally, I don't care one bit about sexual preference, I care about the quality of the human being in question. But, it is a fact that homosexuals are marginalized, critiziced, demonized in Vancouver, in Canada and the rest of the world. I really don't understand the "fear", in my opinion is just judgment that comes from ignorance.

Knowledge breeds tolerance, and tolerance spawns good will, so when I see hundreds of thousands of people celebrating the differences amongst us, in peace, in fun, in an effort to foster good human relations I think it's fantastic. Bea and I were talking about all the children that were there, we were saying, these children will grow up without prejudice about homosexuality, thus they will be more open minded, more tolerant, more peaceful... we think, we hope.

So, I leave you with some photos of the flamboyancy and crazyness of this parade. Looking forward the next one.

BLOGGERS BLOCK

I have major bloggers block.

I am sitting down pondering about my next post and nothing seems to agree with me. What do I want to write about right now? misery, disappoinment, heart break, fear, loneliness? mmmhh, that is not very cheerful is it? dichotomies? perhaps, then it would be about misery and/vs. joy, love and/vs. hate? Maybe I should write about happiness, my latest theoriy, "nobody is happy" - all is misery with random explosions of happiness....mmmh, so bitter and not really what i think. Or about what I think vs. what I feel vs. what I believe? mmhhh, isn't all that supposed to be the same, and happiness pops when all those are aligned? Or I could write about gratitude, what the hell is gratitude anyway. It is so easy to be greatful for the good things in one's life, but, how about being greatful for the bad, sad, hard things that happen in our lifes. Now, that is hard, but well, if everything comes with a lesson, then I should be greatful for all the shitty stuff going on. Maybe I should actually do that, maybe that's a lesson I need to learn. Maybe I should just keep writing and working through this inpsiration block. Maybe I'll find something that moves me, for good or bad, and then, my little fingers will get going and going and going.....